Many times I have watched those graceful hands
The purest white I’ve yet to find again
Nothing can compare within this mortal land
And by my side I wish them to be lain.
These hands so large they could protect my own
And fingers long, much magic they have spun
Pleaseth my own hands never to be alone
A surprise that no fair girl’s heart they’ve won.
Much innocence the possessor must behold
These heaven-sent white wings fly through my head
I look upon them as rich pools of gold
And all others are the dullest grey of lead.
How I long to touch that warm and pale skin
I wonder if you know the state I’m in.
***
This is my first sonnet, so I'd be really grateful for your honest opinions, and any criticisms you might have. Cheers.
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141,254 Literary Works • 674,330 Reviews
i cant ever seem to write sonnets.
this one was good and i liked it alot.
very consistent and even
cool...gotta keep that in mind, next time I get into a poetic state of mind (if that ever comes) thanks!
I wrote this with a Shakespearean sonnet in mind. A Shakespearean sonnet has three stanza consisting of four lines with a rhyming scheme of ABAB, and a rhyming couplet. The lines tend to have ten syllables each, give or take one or two. So it looks like this:
A
B
A
B
C
D
C
D
E
F
E
F
G
G
It was OK. *lol* we're just buttering you up so you'll feel good and write more...just a question, how do you write a sonnet? Once I know that I can give you some more constructive crit...I only can if I can respect the work you put into it!
Just out of interest, what would you say if it wasn't my first sonnet?
As a first time sonnet, it isn't a bad start. Good thing you made that note, otherwise I'd be laying into you. So, keep working at them. I personally don't like structured poetry, but that's a personal preference.
I have never ever been able to write a sonnet. I can do villanelles, sextets, limericks, and, of course, haikus, but I can't do sonnets. That said...
I think you did a pretty good job with this. The rhyming was awkward in places, but I like the theme of the poem and I think you pulled off the sonnet pretty well. Now I forget which is which, but is this Shakesperian or Italian?